Find God after Abortion with the Film ‘The Choice’

By Dianne E. Butts:

How can you find God after abortion?  The book Deliver Me and the short film ‘The Choice’ offer hope.


Bring up the subject of abortion and discussions get heated. Pro-lifers fight for the unborn. Pro-choicers fight for “a women’s right to choose.” (My short film, embedded below, reveals a different kind of choice.) In the melee, people who are forgotten are those who made the choice, experienced abortion, and now live with that choice. They often suffer multiple symptoms including believing God will never forgive them. But I discovered some find God after abortion.

In my book Deliver Me: Hope, Help, & Healing through True Stories of Unplanned Pregnancy, I talked with many women (and men) about their decision to have an abortion. Most of them told me that afterwards they struggled with nightmares, depression, fear, promiscuity, anger, anxiety, guilt, alcohol dependency, drug abuse, or suicidal thoughts or attempts. These symptoms can increase around the anniversary of the abortion, the date when the child would have been born, and holidays like Mother’s Day.

These and other symptoms collectively are called Post Abortion Syndrome (PAS).

In February, I participated in the 168 Film Project, which is a speed filmmaking contest to make a short film (11 minutes max) based on an assigned Bible verse in 168 hours (1 week). This year for the first time I headed up my own film team as Producer, Director, and Writer.

This year’s contest theme was “Promises” (from God) and my team was assigned Romans 10:11-13:

 “As the Scripture says, ‘Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.’ For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile —the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’”

As I prayed about what story we would make into a film that week, I thought of a story in my book Deliver Me called “The Choice” by Chris Jackman, a singer/songwriter. Chris told me in the years following her abortion she deeply regretted her choice, thought God would never forgive her, and found herself numerous times with a razor to her wrist trying to work up the courage to end her torment. Eventually, at the suggestion of a Christian bookstore owner, Chris wrote and recorded an entire CD about her experience called “The Choice.”

Whether because of shame, guilt, or fear of being found out, many women (and men) live with a hidden secret: they’ve lost a child to abortion. They live with the agony of what they’ve done and the fear that they have committed the one sin God will never forgive. That’s a lie. Don’t listen to the lies anymore. God will forgive you. He loves you.

This Mother’s Day, I want to recognize all those mothers and fathers who have lost a child to abortion. As my Mother’s Day gift to you, here is my film ‘The Choice’. My prayer is that it will find its way to the women and men who need its message of love and hope and forgiveness, and that you will find God after abortion.

The Choice – HD

(Film run time, 10 minutes. Includes the original song The Choice, by Chris Jackman (Christene Jackman); part of a biographical music story on CD about her abortion recovery journey.)

© Dianne E. Butts. Dianne is a freelance writer, author, and screenwriter. Her latest book, Deliver Me for those in an unplanned pregnancy or with one in their past, just won a “Book of the Year” award. Her next book, Grandparenting through Obstacles: Overcoming Family Challenges to Reach Your Grandchildren for Christ, is due out mid-August, 2012, from Pix-N-Pens Publishing. Her first book Dear America has just been republished for Kindle. Follow her writing at


Finding God When You’re Thinking About Suicide

By: Deborah Lovett

Stinkin’ thinkin’ is what Joyce Meyers refers to it as. That is when you are thinking about things that steal the joy from those who love you, listen to the lies of the enemy of your own soul saying you are ruined and unloved, and things that destroy your life. So how can you be finding God when you are thinking about suicide?

If you can find a Bible you can find God. If you can find a phone and call the suicide hotline, you can find someone who wants to talk to you about your problems, which could be God’s intervention.

You see, in May 2008 my sister took her own life because she forgot she was loved by so many. She listened to the lies of the enemy that reminded  her she had lost everything: her children, her husband, her home, her job, and her reputation over and over. That kind of stinkin’ thinkin’ can make you crazy. She had no idea of the aftershocks that would occur after she died. If she could have known how much we were to suffer because of losing her, I know she would never had wanted to hurt us that much. It has been like a tsunami whose waves of grief never end.

I don’t know why my sister made the horrible decision to give up, but I do know that God tried to get to her to stay by sending someone that offered to take her to church the same day. The lady said, “I knocked and she never answered.” My sister chose not to answer the door. You see there is always a choice. If you are thinking about trying to take your own life, remember that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem that the devil wants you to believe is a permanent problem with no solution, which is  actually a lie from the pit of hell. Yes, you may have problems, but believe me my God is in the miracle making business and the worst situations are not even a challenge for Him. Take Jesus for example: they spit on him, whipped him, crucified him, and it looked absolutely hopeless. Yet three days later God raised him from the dead.  I know, I know, you are thinking but that was JESUS. Well, listen up: God does not play favorites. If you will give God three days of life, (we have been commanded not to murder) just three sunrises, I believe He will intervene in your life someway, somehow. All you need to do is listen, submit to His voice, and open the door when He knocks or sends someone to your door.

You can also choose to not replay the video of darkness in your head over and over. As hard as it is to believe, you can choose to restart your life and begin to think about how God wants to actually bless you. Not only does He want to bless you, He has blessings waiting on you! You can begin by saying the name of Jesus, because the Word of God says there is POWER in the name of Jesus.

So if you are thinking about suicide, you can be finding God, life, blessing, and a new life instead if you will only believe and have the faith of a mustard seed.

I don’t know you, but I want you to know you are not alone. God is with you and I love you even though I have never met you. I really do! You see love is not based on what you do or don’t do, it is based on the command to love your neighbors just as Jesus loved us.  I am begging you not to hurt those you love, or yourself. Let the sun come up another day. Reach out, call someone, open a Bible, go to church, call your doctor, go to the hospital, do anything BUT stinkin’ thinkin’. The devil has taken enough from you already, don’t give him the satisfaction of your life too. God wants you to live and He has a purpose and plan for it. Just believe.

You can sign up for 10 days of encouragement that comes into your email box at GodTest, by clicking HERE.  For more helps, check out the resources at

See here on video the Kellie Borden story. She had real problems and contemplated suicide, but Jesus Christ changed her life.

by Deborah Lovett. ( Deborah is an International Speaker for Women’s Events, Retreats, and Conferences and the author of Gushing Springs, a Bible Study on the “Woman at the Well.”

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Finding God Through Loss

by Deborah Lovett

A lot of people don’t think that finding God through loss is possible. But the funny thing about God is that unlike humans, when we lose something we think, ‘loss’ but when God sees us lose something, He thinks, ‘gain. ‘ Makes no sense does it? What the enemy means for evil, God intends for our good.  Make no error about it, the enemy is the author of loss, he comes to steal, lie and destroy everything you have, which screams the word ‘LOSS.’  God is the author of gain; He came to give Life to the fullest. He usually does it in a whisper, or a soft gentle guiding through His Word.

I remember the very first Christian conference I ever attended; I ended up in some class that I hadn’t signed up for and didn’t know why or how I got there. Too embarrassed to get up and leave, I stayed and listened to the class on grieving and loss. At that time in my life, I was not familiar with loss.  Yet, God knew where I needed to be, and He was preparing me ahead of time.  I was ‘gaining’ knowledge about ‘loss’ before I even knew I would need it.  God is good like that.

Now 22 years later, I am very acquainted with loss. However, I have seen the gain through each one.  The gain has been learning a new love language about God through a very personal experience. Let me explain:

When I was losing my health due to a tumor in my colon; I gained first hand experience of knowing God as my Healer when the doctors went in to remove it and it was gone!

When I had a miscarriage, just six weeks into a pregnancy that I never expected; I found the Holy Spirit as my Comforter as He answered questions through a book someone gave me called, “I’ll Hold you in Heaven” by: Jack W. Hayford

When my younger sister took her own life, I came to know the depth of God’s grace and mercy, which can never separate us from His love and was beyond my comprehension. The greater the loss, the greater God’s plan to reveal Himself to us personally. I now have a ministry on the prevention of suicide.

When our home burned to the ground and we lost every material possession we had; I found God to be the absolutely perfect Provider. So I started a ministry for people who have lost their homes to fire.

When I speak at women’s conferences around the country I do tell about my loss, not so people will feel sorry for me, but so that they can connect with me and know how Powerful our God is and what He did in the middle of the loss to draw me closer to Him than I could have ever expected or imagined! I understand what the apostle Paul meant when he said,

“To live is Christ, and to die is gain.” Philippians 1:21

I hope you are finding God through loss when it happens to come your way; otherwise it ends up as nothing but loss.  Remember every loss the enemy steals from you, can be overcome by the blood of the Lamb, who died so you could live! Christ is not called the Redeemer and Deliverer for nothing!  Let Him restore the years the locusts have eaten. He is Faithful above all things. Look and listen for Him in the midst of your loss, He is still there.

From Youtube’s Vance Perry Productions, watch Vance sing a Barbershop Quartet of How Great Thou Art, all by himself:

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