Find God after Abortion with the Film ‘The Choice’

By Dianne E. Butts:

How can you find God after abortion?  The book Deliver Me and the short film ‘The Choice’ offer hope.


Bring up the subject of abortion and discussions get heated. Pro-lifers fight for the unborn. Pro-choicers fight for “a women’s right to choose.” (My short film, embedded below, reveals a different kind of choice.) In the melee, people who are forgotten are those who made the choice, experienced abortion, and now live with that choice. They often suffer multiple symptoms including believing God will never forgive them. But I discovered some find God after abortion.

In my book Deliver Me: Hope, Help, & Healing through True Stories of Unplanned Pregnancy, I talked with many women (and men) about their decision to have an abortion. Most of them told me that afterwards they struggled with nightmares, depression, fear, promiscuity, anger, anxiety, guilt, alcohol dependency, drug abuse, or suicidal thoughts or attempts. These symptoms can increase around the anniversary of the abortion, the date when the child would have been born, and holidays like Mother’s Day.

These and other symptoms collectively are called Post Abortion Syndrome (PAS).

In February, I participated in the 168 Film Project, which is a speed filmmaking contest to make a short film (11 minutes max) based on an assigned Bible verse in 168 hours (1 week). This year for the first time I headed up my own film team as Producer, Director, and Writer.

This year’s contest theme was “Promises” (from God) and my team was assigned Romans 10:11-13:

 “As the Scripture says, ‘Anyone who trusts in him will never be put to shame.’ For there is no difference between Jew and Gentile —the same Lord is Lord of all and richly blesses all who call on him, for, ‘Everyone who calls on the name of the Lord will be saved.’”

As I prayed about what story we would make into a film that week, I thought of a story in my book Deliver Me called “The Choice” by Chris Jackman, a singer/songwriter. Chris told me in the years following her abortion she deeply regretted her choice, thought God would never forgive her, and found herself numerous times with a razor to her wrist trying to work up the courage to end her torment. Eventually, at the suggestion of a Christian bookstore owner, Chris wrote and recorded an entire CD about her experience called “The Choice.”

Whether because of shame, guilt, or fear of being found out, many women (and men) live with a hidden secret: they’ve lost a child to abortion. They live with the agony of what they’ve done and the fear that they have committed the one sin God will never forgive. That’s a lie. Don’t listen to the lies anymore. God will forgive you. He loves you.

This Mother’s Day, I want to recognize all those mothers and fathers who have lost a child to abortion. As my Mother’s Day gift to you, here is my film ‘The Choice’. My prayer is that it will find its way to the women and men who need its message of love and hope and forgiveness, and that you will find God after abortion.

The Choice – HD

(Film run time, 10 minutes. Includes the original song The Choice, by Chris Jackman (Christene Jackman); part of a biographical music story on CD about her abortion recovery journey.)

© Dianne E. Butts. Dianne is a freelance writer, author, and screenwriter. Her latest book, Deliver Me for those in an unplanned pregnancy or with one in their past, just won a “Book of the Year” award. Her next book, Grandparenting through Obstacles: Overcoming Family Challenges to Reach Your Grandchildren for Christ, is due out mid-August, 2012, from Pix-N-Pens Publishing. Her first book Dear America has just been republished for Kindle. Follow her writing at

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