By Karen O’Connor:
Even when disappointed in myself, I’m finding God in the process.
I leafed through the church bulletin on a Sunday morning. The headline “Wanted: Kitchen Angels” caught my attention. One of the ladies in our congregation was forming a committee of people to deliver meals to families in need. I pulled out my pen and signed up on the spot to attend the training.
When the first call came in, I was ready to serve. I prepared Italian chicken and mushrooms with all the trimmings–green salad with candied pecans, garlic-stuffed olives, cherry tomatoes and baby carrots, laced with homemade vinegarette dressing. I prepared a savory garlic-butter mixture to spread on crunchy Italian bread, and made a chocolate cake for dessert. I put the ingredients into two beautiful baskets.
The meal and the service were a hit. The family thanked me profusely and I went home flying. I had found my calling. I was truly a ‘kitchen angel.’
The next month I had a new assignment. It wasn’t as much fun as the first one. I put together a deli dinner and dropped it off, feeling chagrin over my lack of creativity.
Months went by and my enthusiasm waned. I cried when the last assignment for that year came in. I told the leader I just couldn’t keep up anymore. Then I worried that the word was out. Karen is a fallen angel!
“Would you like to retire (read resign) from Kitchen Angels?” the leader asked in a gentle and understanding way.
“Oh no. I mean this is a wonderful ministry and I love being part of it,” I lied. Actually, it was a wonderful ministry, just not wonderful for me.
“It’s okay, Karen,” she said. “No shame in letting go of something that no longer works for you. I forgive and release you.”
Relief flooded over me. I had been trying to turn a lie into a truth–and it wasn’t working. So I did the church a favor, the team a favor, and most of all, myself a favor. I retired and turned in my wings!
It’s taken awhile, but now I see that we can be free to be the human beings we are and to tell the truth, so we can walk blamelessly with our Lord.
For the Lord God is a sun and shield; the Lord bestows favor and honor; no good thing does he withhold from those whose walk is blameless. (Psalm 84:11 the Bible).
I also found some encouragement from Christian pastor Don Robinson’s sermon about what to do when I am disappointed in myself: http://www.brandonweb.com/sermons/sermonpages/romans29.htm
Enjoy this inspiring YouTube video with Christian speaker Joyce Meyer on making the most of each day—regardless of disappointment or poor choices.
©Karen O’Connor. Karen is an author, writing mentor, and frequent contributor to the Finding God Daily blog. Visit Karen on the web at www.karenoconnor.com, on Facebook or follow on Twitter: @karenoconnor