Finding God in Our Loneliness

By Heidi McLaughlin:

These words made the hair stand up on the back of my neck: Loneliness is ignorance.


Image by chrisroll /

Image by chrisroll /

What an irreverent and accusing comment about one of the most painful and heart wrenching human conditions. This citation (which came out of a commentary) had such a huge impact on me that I chose to study it in greater depth to try to understand the author’s point of view. It has been a startling revelation. Loneliness is in fact ignorance.

We were created to be connected to our Heavenly Father and to other people; that is the only way we can function in this world if we want to live fulfilling, joyful lives. Nature abhors a vacuum and will do anything to fill it. Water flows into any empty crevice. Fires explode with a vengeance when it has produced a vacuum. When you and I are hungry we need food. When our souls are dry and lonely we will do what it takes to fill them. That is how we are created.  An empty soul is a danger waiting to happen. Loneliness will try to feel better by:

  1. Alcohol; which becomes the friend that numbs the pain.
  2. Any relationship will do as long as it fulfills the urgent need for human touch.
  3. Too much TV for the needed company.
  4. Shopping to fill the pleasure hub.
  5. Too many trips to the refrigerator to find satisfaction through food.
  6. Drugs, mutilation, binging/purging, stealing, pornography, video games…and the technology pleasure hub of your choice.

And the loneliness persists and we wonder if there really is a God.

My heart aches for all the lonely people who feel helpless to move beyond their pain. God is supposed to fill that void, and He does, but he uses His children to be His hands and feet to fill that void. We must first understand that we cannot function as whole, healthy people living in a loneliness vacuum. We need help. This desperate cry for help should be the impetus which propels us to make courageous choices to go out into the world and find some friends. You must; it is not an option.

There are places where lonely people can find healthy connections. Walk into a church and ask to be connected.

Start talking to strangers; at least give them a smile so that they will smile back.

(You may end up helping someone ELSE feel less lonely, not only yourself.)

Join a club, go into a library and look around for like minded people. Make a diligent effort to find a HELP line to get connected somewhere-somehow. Don’t allow the fiend of loneliness to overcome you; it will destroy you.

God loves you. As a matter of fact He loves you so much that He died to set you free from all the sins, pain and wounds you have experienced. (You can find out more about that at

He wants to LAVISH His love on you. Let Him do that through your connections with other human beings. God said “that it is not good for man to be alone.” There are people all around you; go and find some and make some friends. You must.

 © Heidi McLaughlin. For over two decades Heidi has taught women how to become “beautiful from the inside out”, applying God’s powerful truths via bible studies, mentoring, and Heidi’s own poignant stories.  Visit Heidi at, or  her blog. Follow Heidi on Twitter: @heidiheart

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